5 Ways To Deal with Irritating Holiday Questions From Loved Ones

The first question your relatives will ask you is about your love life. You know what I mean. They always try you with  “Have you ever tried online dating?” All you hear is, “Damn, you still single!” Then, they say when you are getting married. If you are married, then they will ask when will you have kids.  Joke it off, and say “Are you kidding me? I can’t even go to the store without someone throwing themselves at me.”

The second question is based on your priorities. They will ask, when is the last time you’ve been home? But all you hear is you don’t come to visit enough. You say to them, “Man not as much as I like to.” It is perfect to getting back to what is at hand. Let’s get back to the mac n’ cheese.

Now we usually dread this third question. Your family relative will walk up to you and ask, “So do you want a whole turkey sandwich or half of one?” All you hear is “You’re packing it away.” If you are happy with your weight, look them in the eye and say “It was great! I actually like a whole one.” Get under the critic’s skin.

Another one comes across because of your appearance. So maybe the person come to you and say, “You are all decked out for a holiday.” You hear, “Did you get dressed in the dark?” So kill them with kindness. Say, “This outfit was a lot of fun to put on. Thanks a lot.” At their core, haters are hurting.

How many of you heard when someone say “Your kids are energetic.” They are saying, “You have no control over your offspring.” You can say, “Can you do me a favor and take them outside for 20 minutes?” You will shut them up because they don’t want to help you.

How To Be Cool: 5 Steps Pychology Says You Have To Take

1. Less is more. Cool people don’t try too hard. Cool people signal I am so smooth that they don’t have to work hard. What can you do to do less to equal more?
2. Confidence. Pretend you like a person first to get them to like you. Assume they like your first. Self-esteem is sexy. Doing less and confidence is the quintessential cool factor that everybody is looking for. Looking nervous will turn women off. Being too modest can also turn a woman off according to research.
3. The cool factor knows the rules and breaks them. Study the laws like a scientist so you can break them like an artist.
4. Focus on attitude, and the body language will follow. When you feel cool, it transmits through your body language.
5. Being cool is not the best thing to do. Sometimes you need enthusiasm. Being interested is undefeated in people, and that is what you want to go for. Cool will have you looking like a fool.

Money Habits That Separate The Wealthy From The Poor

A job pays you enough to keep working. You work enough to keep from getting fired. Slavery was just about working enough; enough food, enough shelter. It wasn’t about working for free. Let’s get into the money habits.

Live by the 70/30 rule. Live off of 70% of your money. The 30% you don’t spend. Give 10% to charity. Better to give your time.

Capital investment. Put your money on top of something that is inflated. Your money rises with it. Put the money into something that will give you capital gains.

Put 10% of your money into savings. No seed money equals no produce. If you’re not paying yourself first, you’re living for the bill collectors. Not saving for a rainy day, but a sunny day. The chain of habits is often too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken.

Two years ago, the banks made five million dollars off insufficient funds. Cash is an instrument to steal your money. This country is setup by entrepreneurs an investors. Those who think always govern those who labor. As Warren Buffin says, “The stock market is a tool for transfering wealth from the impatient to the patient.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The 8 Secret Keys of Great Communicators

Communication is the secret to any’s success. What does it honestly mean? It is easy to be a terrible communicator, and it takes work to be a great communicator. What you are about to read comes from the co-creator of Affirmationnation, Sadiq A. Ali.

The number one key to great communicators is that they speak to groups as individuals. Many times when you are in a group you want to make eye contact with each person. It is the communicator job to see that you receive the message intended.

The second key is they talk so people will listen. Great communicators don’t beat a dead horse. They go and bring a new horse out. Number three is that they listen so people will talk. We are under the mistaken belief that communication is a one-way street. Communication is the gateway to your entire relationship. All the most significant link in your life is an exchange of value.

Key number four is that great communicators connect emotionally. Maya Angelou said it the best, “People will forget what you said, or eventually forget what you said. But they won’t forget how you made them feel.” Always think about feelings. Engage empathy. Be human. When you are communicating, you are selling to the other person on why it is good for them to take your message to heart.

The fifth key of great communicators is that they’re always looking at body language. They look for what is and what is not being said. The sixth key is that they prepare the intent of the message. You have to plan out what you want the other person to take away.

Key number seven, great communicators skip the jargon. Don’t hide the meaning from the average person. Last but not least, the eighth key is that great communicators practice intentional and active listening. They practice being interesting. Never finish other people’s sentences. Make sure to repeat back of the other person’s paraphrasing.

Perfectionism Leads to Failure

Most of us have a curse called perfectionism. We want everything to be in top shape. In reality, that cannot be done because there will always be something to correct. It will drive a person insane to be a perfectionist. Perfectionist feels that if they cannot master it, then they won’t chance it. Perfectionism itself has self-love. In today’s affirmations, I learned of the 7 reasons perfectionism is really a bad thing.

First, you are never done. You will never have that song perfect or that movie scripted right. But you have to be satisfied with what you have completed. If you don’t, you will always be correcting it. Second, perfectionists don’t take risks.  They are too afraid to challenge anything because of what they think others will think. Furthermore, perfectionism robs you of your creativity. You won’t share any ideas because you think they are not good enough.

In addition, another reason perfectionism is a bad thing is that you end up becoming a people’s person. You know what those are. Those are the ones who feel they have to make everyone happy. What I have learned is what others think of me is none of my business. Stop overthinking!!! Not only do you want to be a people’s pleaser, but you are highly critical of other people. For example, “Shawn is coming in at 30 minutes after his scheduled shift. Who does he think he is?” Always being judgemental. Is that you? Last but not least, perfectionism keeps you from delegating. It boils down to the fact you don’t want others to judge you if you make a mistake. You can delegate without micromanaging.

So, see which one of these describes you and leave your comment.

Keeping Motivated

Staying motivated, let alone getting someone to motivate you, can be difficult at times. One of my coworkers was discussing how her husband is not supportive of her when it comes to working out. I thought to myself, “Why do we need someone else to boost us along?” The answer is we don’t need anyone’s approval. If you want to run a marathon whose stopping you but you.

James Altucher,  an American hedge fund manager, entrepreneur, bestselling author, venture capitalist, and podcaster, said it best “If you don’t live in a world of choosing, you live in a world of excusing.” That just means that you have to choose to do things for yourself, and not make excuses. This implies me too. My husband doesn’t support me in many things. I mean he takes me to my gym classes, but he doesn’t help me on my meal plans or nutritional system. It frustrates me to the point I want to give it up and say F it. I have to build that mental strength my mentor, Haziq Ali, taught me a week ago.

He mentioned four surprising ways to develop mental strength:

1. Evaluate what your core beliefs are. What do you think about yourself? How do you look at the world? Core beliefs are how you look at the world.
2. Look to expand your mental energy wisely. Stop putting yourself in the place of things you can’t control.
3. Practice tolerating discomfort. Mental strength requires you to become aware of your emotions.
4. Reflect daily on your progress. Ask yourself that you learn about your thoughts.

You need this in order to get the self-motivation. Get positive, get rewarded, and get peer pressure. That is right peer pressure. Always measure your progress and acknowledge it. It will create happiness. Scientists show that 75% of what we do is because of rewards. Peer pressure helps us more. Share support and competition will change everything.

 

 

New Changes

I know my site seems to be bare, and that is because I have deleted all my blogs. I want to refresh everything from my blog, radio show, and life. You have to take a step back and find yourself. I am still a human that is a person that is becoming. I have ventured into a new project, which is wine. Let me be honest with me not working out like I used to. It has been two months or maybe three since I worked out. I lost my mojo, but I will rise again. There will be a new Tekneshia coming to you shortly. I will keep you updated on my progress.

Dream Almost Crushed

Well I am no longer working for Turner Broadcasting Systems. I was let go last week. It was told to me that I was making mistakes on the basketball games for the NBA League Pass. I accepted my mistakes, but I was hoping for another chance.

I felt like I was betrayed. It felt like someone had stolen my joy. With the anger that was building inside me, I could not think straight. After a day, I thought it may have been a reason why I did not need to work there. God has a purpose for us all, and that was not the place I needed to be right then.

Shortly after that, I met a great many people at PeopleTV, a video on demand who airs to over 100,000 people, who are producers and radio hosts. I felt at home. So, now I can do more of my goals. I thank TBS for giving me a chance.

Homeless With A Job

I go to work almost everyday for eight or more hours; without a notice of what to entail when I get there. I clock in at 4:30 ready to set up the workstation, which consist of making tea, lemonade, cutting lemons and limes, gathering trash cans and drinking glasses and making sure silverware is rolled. While doing all this, I am waiting for the doors, to the restaurant, to open at 5 p.m.  Sometimes, a crowd of people come in at that time, and other times there is a waiting period for two to three hours. Those are the days that disgust me.

Waiting around for someone to come into the restaurant. I am happy when I get my first customer. When the second and third customer comes, my hopes get higher. I love when it is busy because I am making money and the time is passing by. All I hope for is that majority of the customers leave  18% gratuity. It can turn into a bad day when you are not getting tip right.  The customer is my best friend when they sit at the table. I engage in friendly conversation. Also, whatever they need it will be taken care of in a timely manner. I am thankful when I get a crowd of men and women who just want to drink up a tab of $300 or more, especially when they leave an extra tip with the gratuity. If I get two tables like that I can make at least $300 in charge tips.

With most waitress jobs, they are treating the gratuities as wages, so the waitress does not get the money that night unless it is cash. The money goes on a paycheck. Luckily I get paid every week, but still that money gets taxed. That is not good for me because I have a disabled husband and twin girls. I get paid $3.40 a hour, which is tipped minimum wage. Each of my check shows the gross amount and the taxes deducted. My paycheck ends up being very little at times unless one week is busy.   I provide for all of them. Now, my husband gets a disability check, which  pays the car insurance and rent. The other bills are on me. Once you start paying bills, the money is gone. So, seeing a check for $800 is satisfying, but not enough. The reason of becoming a server is to take the money home that night.

I love my job because of the patrons, despite the low wages. Enough is enough though. I feel like the job is tearing me down.  Working nine days straight to make a living. Then, I have to tip the bartender 1.5% of my sales. I feel homeless without being on the street or eat out of dumpsters. Hey, thank God I am able to pay the bills. At times, there is not enough money to pay all my bills. I have to wait another week to make up the difference. My husband’s disability check takes care of the rent and I think about the government was to ever shut that off. My children sometimes want nice things, but I have to put them on hold because there is not enough to pleasure them. After a hard day of work, I get home and go into a deep sleep from exhaustion.

I have been a waitress for nine years while being in school pursing a degree in communications, which I obtained an Associate’s in 2009 and a BA in 2011. It is hard to get into the news industry, but I will keep striving.  I don’t have to yell like a four year old to let you know my problems. I don’t need judgment, but I will take help.

Father’s Day

Man of God come one, come all. Stand and be proud of who you are. You are working for God. You must cut your partners and friends, who are not on your side, a loose. If they are not with you they will fall by the waist side. God is here to give you a new lease young men. Generate a circle of good Christian people who will be there when you need them.

For the soon to be fathers, act like fathers and husbands to the woman who bears your seed(s).  It is time to stop chasing. You are a father now. God will help guide you young man. Don’t give into the seduction, the negativity, the false-heart, etc. Be strong! Life is not over for you; it has just begun. A new season has started. Preach the holy ghost everyday and you shall see new things blossom among you. Today is your day to understand what Father’s Day is all about and it will start by believing in the spirit and not the flesh.